Apology

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I want to personaly apologize to every citizen of every country on this Earth, for the unspeakable thing said January 11, 2018 by the president of the United States.

I want you to know that Mr. Trump does NOT respesent the American people. He is an embarrassment to the vast majority of the country, and we find his behavior unacceptable.

Most Americans respect and honor every country, every where,  and the people who live in and love them. 

We made a horrible mistake. We thought we had a system that would only allow us to elect a qualified individual to our highest office. We were wrong, and we installed an incompetent, racist, irrational man to the office of President.

Please forgive us.  

July 2019 Update- A year and a half later I find that rather than getting better, Mr. Trump continues to go further and further into racist, racist territory. Sadly, there is indeed a portion of the American public egging him on. I can only hope that somehow we will survive him and his supporters, and I recognize that they have damaged the reputation of the U.S. irreparably.

Jess Herbst

Near and Dear

It's interesting how seemingly random disconnected events can effect ones daily life.

Event one: When I was in my twenties, my father was diagnosed with skin cancer on his nose. It was caught late and removing it cost him his entire nose. This was a difficult thing, but it was far better than the alternative.

They fitted him with a prosthesis, a remarkably real appearing nose made of a special rubber like material. He attached it with medical adhesive tape.

I remember many early mornings, seeing him carefully cut and place the tape on his nose, then carefully putting it into position on his face.

My Grandfather (With Cigar), his brothers and my oldest brother, and me!

Event two: When I first discussed being trans with my doctor, she asked me if I wanted to transition. A fact I neither hide nor discuss, is that I have the same male pattern baldness gene that my mother’s father and uncles had.

I told my doctor that, yes, I wanted to transition, but that I never could.

"Why?", she asked.

"Because I have no hair", I replied.

She gave me an expression that is best described as 'The Stink Eye' and said "There are many women who have no hair, do you think that stops them from living their lives?".

My eyes were suddenly, and finally opened to the possibility of actually being me.

I wear what is closer to a prosthetic than a wig. It's natural blond human hair, not dyed or processed. It is attached to a silk cap that is made specifically to the dimensions of my head. I attach it with the same medical adhesive my father used for his nose.

Whenever I'm cutting and carefully placing the tape on the lace, I can not help but to think of my father, and his nose, and how sometimes your connection to your parents come in unexpected ways. 

My Dad, Dr. John Raymond Herbst with my brothers Phillip and Fredrick.

My dad passed away about a decade ago. He never got to see the real me.

Obligations

I see and hear much confusion about holding political office. The public seems to believe that government is there to tell us what to do, that people who hold office wield powers akin to a corporate CEO. Alas many elected officials believe the same.

 This is not what the authors of the constitution envisioned. Government was meant to be for the people and by the people.

 In my capacity as Mayor, I am the leader of the town council, not the boss. It is my job to lead the council through issues put before us. I can and do, try to express my opinion.  Of what I think is the best resolution to each issue for the town. The council should never consider what is best for us or our families, but what is best for the town as a whole.

Trying to influence the opinions of my fellow council is the extent of my power. It is the majority vote that decides the issues. My vote counts exactly one, just like everyone else's.

 Likewise, the job of state or federal legislators is to try and influence the opinions of other legislators on the will of the people they represent. It is not their job to create laws that force their personal opinions of the country. They were not put there to rule the population, they are suppose to represent them.

Too many of our elected officials have either forgotten or never learned this. 

Most people think they have no say or control over the government. But that is not true! You, the voter, are the boss. It's up to you to determine who and what our government is.

 You have an obligation to your country to vote. And if the person on the ballot does not understand they are there to represent your values, your wishes, don't vote for them, no matter which political party they proport to belong to. In the end, political parties don't make policy, individual people do.

Direction

I am often in a quandary about writing my blog. When I take virtual pen in hand, do I write about my experiences as I transition exclusively? Do I express my growing involvement with politics?

 For years I spoke of being trans and nothing else. Being a member of my town council was a non-issue, nothing I felt anyone would be interested in.

 But then I became mayor, which led to coming out publicly. This happened almost exactly at the same time as the fight for transgender rights moved to the forefront of public interest.

I got involved in every way I could. Politics had a direct and personal effect on my life.

So do I blog about transition or politics?

The answer is right there in the title of my blog, 'Miscellaneous Rambling '

So with that, I offer you two new entries today, one political, one very personal.

A seat at the table

This week I attended the The Victory Institute’s International LGBTQ Leadership Conference in Washington D.C. 

Transgender elected officials and candidates were the talk of the conference and subject matter of many breakout sessions.

 Everyone was celebrating the victories of the November 2017 election.

 In attendance were Danica Roem - Virginal House of Delegates elect,

Andrea Jenkins and Phillipe Cunningham - Minneapolis City council elect,

Lisa Middleton - Palm Springs City Council elect,

Tyler Titus - Erie Pennsylvania School Board elect,

Vernetta Alston - Durham City Council elect,

They were this years ‘Conference Royalty’.

The Conference last day’s main Plenum was titled ‘Year of the Trans Candidate’.

 It would be easy to think these candidates ran on platforms of transgender rights, but nothing could be further from the truth.

Danica spoke passionately about the traffic issues strangling her constituents.

Phillipe was upset with the gentrification of his neighborhoods and the community it was displacing.

Tyler could hardly stop talking about the kids in his district and how many were being left behind.

And so it went with each and every one.

They were concerned with the issues that effected everyone they will now represent. They were not there to single out transgender as some kind of chosen people.

 If they did not run with a transgender agenda, why did they run? Why now after all these years of never seeing a transgender candidate?

 To answer that you need to look at history, to the acceptance of transgender individuals in society.

 In 1999, I moved into my home in New Hope Texas, and at the time there many gravel roads in town. I was concerned with the state of these roads and in 2003 when a council seat was vacated by the existing road commissioner, I jumped at the chance and filled it.

I was trans then as I always have been, but I had to hide it. Society still considered me mentally defective.

Outing myself as trans at that time would have prevented me from the opportunity to serve so I could pave those roads.

 Since then something happened, something wonderful. Major psychological organizations declared there was nothing wrong with the transgender mind. They recommended embracing us rather than trying to change us.

 Society was introduced to, and began to accept when several celebrities came out as transgender. Then regular people like me came out and showed the world who we were. Now when a person is passionate about issues affecting their community, they can step up and run for office. Being transgender is no longer a barrier to serve.

 Going forward, we will see many more transgender people run for and win political office, just like anyone else in this country.

Jess goes Formal

I was honored by the Black Dinner organization when they asked me to do an introductory speech at their 37th Annual Black Tie Dinner.

This year the beneficiaries were rights groups, local and state outreach groups , churches and  charities. Including, but not limited to the Human Rights Campaign, LAMBDA Legal,  Equality Texas, Cathedral of Hope, Big Brothers & Sisters Lone Star and many more. To Date Black Tie Dinner has distributed over $21 million to these and other amazing organizations.

 This was my first opportunity to experience a formal affair since transition and I was excited at the prospect. I had never even worn a long gown, so this was going to be a whole new experience. Alexandria helped me just the right gown and shoes. Debbie and Alexandria got new Gowns as well and Andrew updated his tux. 

 On the day of the dinner Alexandria did makeup for Debbie & I then touched it up again just before the dinner. She has become something of a makeup artist and she made us both look beautiful, and herself as well.

We attended a Speakers reception first, perused the silent auction then a general reception where I found many friends and fellow advocates as well. There were approximately 3000 people there, quite the crowd. The feeling of being perfectly accepted as a woman has never felt stronger, something about a formal gown that makes you feel very feminine.

I spoke early into the program so I was ushered backstage pretty quickly. As I waited in the wings to speak I could see several of the giant screens around the room. They played a video made from clips of my various TV interviews. One was from CBS when Debbie was with me. When her face appeared in the screens an explosion of cheers and claps came from the Tables occupied by her co-workers from Ericsson.

 They announced my name and I started down the catwalk to the podium. The crowd stood  applauded and cheered wildly. A standing ovation, from 3000 people, and I had not said a word yet. It was all I could do to hold back the tears of joy. I reached the podium and my speech was there on the teleprompter. I waited for the applause to die down. And waited, and waited! I finally just began, trying speak over the cheering. I was incredible. the speech went well and seemed to meet the approval of the audience. I finished and exited to applause and felt like I was on cloud nine.

 During the dinner there several breaks and each time I had many visitors from other tables congratulating me. Several came with offers of fund raising for whatever office I would run for next. I met a federal Judge, 2 local judges, lawyers and religious leaders. During One break I spoke with the owner of D-Magazine and her daughter. They were both very gracious and complimentary, I expressed my deep thanks for the wonderful article they ran on me last June.

 My phone lit up with messages from friends in attendance asking for my table number so they could come by. The table numbers ran into the two-hundreds, so it could be difficult to locate someone without the number.

 Following the dinner was an after party. I found myself and Debbie with a constant stream of well wishers, people wanting photos and requests for my contact info. Everyone was so enthusiastic and the compliments flowed like a mountain stream. Many said mine was the best speech of the evening, but I attribute that to the fact that it was the shortest!

It was a magical night, and it was so overwhelming that I almost forgot to relish my first formal affair as a woman.

Almost!

Election 2017, What now?

We did great, 7 Transgender candidates elected to various offices. 

Danica Roem, Virginia (Virginia House of Delegates) , Gerri Cannon, New Hampshire (Somersworth School Board), Andrea Jenkins, Minnesota (Minneapolis City Council),

Stephe Koontz, Georgia (Doraville City Council), Phillipe Cunningham, Minnesota (Minneapolis City Council), Lisa Middleton, California (Palm Springs City Council), Tyler Titus, Pennsylvania (Erie School Board)

Steve Bannon - Britebart propagandist and Anti-LGBT perveyour. 

But we can not stop here and think we are done, we are not. We have now come to the attention of political forces that want us gone. 2018 will be a much harder battle.

When I came out publicly I was contacted by a small, scrappy organization dedicated to creating political power for Trans people and people with trans friendly positions. 

That group is the TransUnited Fund. They asked me to join them and I did. In theses last 10 months I have watched the superhuman efforts of a very few individuals make amazing differences in our political landscape. They fought the hate group ADF and won 3 school board seats in Illinois last May.
Through their BREAKTHROUGH Fund they threw everything they had supporting Andrea Jenkins, Philippe Cunningham, Kristen Bowden and Danica Roem. They also threw support to a dozen others.

They had a 75% success rate on the 4 primary candidates and had a positive effect on the others.
Net Result: 7 newly elected openly Transgender officials in the US.

My role is small, just advice really. The hard work is being done by a very few people who somehow manage to put out the work of dozens.

But nothing is free. These people have to eat, campaigns cost money, lots of money. They have beaten $millions of dollars of campaign money provided by the big hate groups campaigning against their candidate with a few $thousand, that is how good they are. But they have to have those dollars.

If you felt a sense of pride, joy or hopefulness by the November 2017 election results, and you want that again in 2018, Donate.

I know I'm asking for your hard earned dollars, I know you struggle to get by. But what would you pay to make sure your job is safe, or your home? LGBTQ people can be fired or evicted in most of the US just for being LGBTQ. The only way to fix this is to get the right people in office, and the only way to do that is to have a strong group supporting the right candidates. Trans United Fund(and its BreakThrough Fund) has proven itself to be that group.
Give, please.

Jess Herbst, board member, Trans United Fund (c4)

Donate – BreakThrough Fund

Mistaken Identity

Growing up trans, I dreamed of transformation. I imagined all sorts of ways that I could instantly become female. Like a caterpillar emerging from it’s cocoon, I would be a new and different person.

These feelings are shared by many transgender people, and they are flawed.

I know transgender women, who long to transition, but expect to become this new and different person. Many are held back by the mistaken belief that they must become a completely new person.

 Friends and family of transgender people go through a mourning for their lost loved ones. They believe the man or woman they knew is gone, replaced by a gender opposite new person.

 My wife went through this process, mourning the loss of ‘Jeff’. Then one night she said ‘ You have not changed, not really’.  I smiled and said ‘I’m still me’.

Transitioning does not mean you become someone else, you can't. Your mind, you concisness, your thoughts, hopes & desires are still the same. If you loved hot dogs, batman and bicycles, you still will. You can not, and should not try to, escape who you are.  

Transitioning just means showing the world who you are, and always have been, on the inside.