No one knows we exist

"(The transgender) are not adequately represented in politics, government, or media."

This was a point made in a comment to one of my first blogs.  '... not adequately represented in ... Politics... Media'.

This struck me as odd, as it seems to me that transgender is all over the media lately, President Obama actually mentioned the T word in his last State of the Union speech, and legislators at all levels have been having hot debates over our right to use the bathroom.

There are already two award winning TV shows that feature a transgender cast member (Orange is the new black) or about the life and transition of a Parent (Transparent). Laverne Cox, from Orange is the new Black, appeared on the cover of Time Magazine and has become the 'face of transgender in america' according to the magazine. Jeffrey Tambor, from Transparent, won the Golden Globe best actor award for his portrayal of a transgender father coming out late in life. Making him the first TV actor to win for a transgender role.

Last week 'New Girls on the Block' premiered on Discovery life, a reality show following the lives of six transgender women. Fuse has ordered episodes of a documentary series, Transcendent,  which will follow the lives of a group of transgender cabaret performers.  And TLC has a new show , All that Jazz, this summer about Jazz Jennings, a transgender teen, who wrote a children's book, 'I am Jazz', and has made commercial endorsements for skincare products.

The Canadian show 'The switch' has said that they will add 6 recurring characters that will not only be transgender in the plot, but will be played by actual transgender actors. 'Bold and the Beautiful', a daytime soap opera, reveled a leading character as transgender.

In a recent episode of Ellen, the host gave a lesson in transgender awareness. Mod cloth has hired their first transgender model, and the high fashion industry has already embraced several transgender super models. Celebrities from Elton John to Hilary Swank have recently spoken up for transgender rights.

Mens Health magazine is currently pondering if it should go with Aydian Dowling, a transgender man, for the cover shoot of the 'Ultimate Guy Search' issue. They have receved over 23,000 votes in his favor, putting him at the top of the leader board. 

It's the subject du jour these days, and the video game industry is not missing out as Bioware's fourth installment of 'Mass Effect' which will feature a transgender character.

On the political side,  the US Department of Justice, in regards to a Georgia state prison inmate, has stated that "failure to provide adequate treatment for transgender inmates is unconstitutional".

President Obama has condemned the practice of 'conversion therapy', programs that attempt to 'fix' both gay and transgender individuals. California and New Jersey have banned the practices. 

The White house has added gender neutral bathrooms.

Rep. David Cicilline, D-R.I., and Sen. Jeff Merkley, D-OR, recently announced that they expect to introduce “comprehensive” legislation in both chambers of Congress aimed at protecting individuals from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Even the normally conservative state of Texas has seen several of it's major cities, Austin, Houston, Dallas, Ft Worth, El Paso, San Antonio, Plano, enact LGBT anti-discrimination laws. 

But it's not all good attention, the 'Bathroom' issue has sprung up across the US and Canada, with lawmakers introducing bills banning transgender from the 'wrong' bathroom. Serval states have introduced 'Religious freedom restoration' laws, essentially giving legal backing to discrimination in the name of God. Unexpectedly, these actions have been met with swift and determined ressistance. Indiana's governer was hit so hard with public outcry, and more importantly, the economic impact, as Salesforce made plans to pull employees from the state, that he quickly made promises to 'Fix' the issue. Arkansas, also with a similar bill, put it on the back burner until things shake out.

Texas state lawmakers, incensed that some of it's cities dare to pass laws they don't like, introduced three different bills that are designed specifically to help people discriminate against LGBT people. Their legislation is designed to nullify the many laws that already exist across the state.

Texas is also weighing is own 'Bathroom protection' bill, but as of yesterday, it too is delayed. -"A top House Republican delayed a hearing on controversial legislation Wednesday that would limit transgender students’ use of school bathrooms and locker rooms, saying the author needed to soften its language."

On the 'Conversion Therapy issue, Oklahoma, and other conservative states, are considering legislation to protect the therapies from legal challenges.

This list goes on and on, the point being that the Transgender have never had so much time in the spotlight. Until now the only inkling that the general public had of us was as either the brunt of some poor slapstick comedy, or as a drug abusing pervert in the back alley of some grimy crime show.

So rejoice all, we the transgendered people of the world have finally gotten our place in the media.

This just in...."Asexuality and Intersex Conditions Are Television’s New Frontier" 

Oh well our 15 minutes is over, I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.

What was I thinking?

Like most of us, my introduction to transgender began with my earliest memories. Unlike most of you, that was a very long time ago. Things were different, really different, to be honest, Don  Draper could have been my father. I remember being shooed outside so the adults could play bridge, "Jess, go outside and take the rest of the kids with you. Bring your BB gun, y'all can play with that".  They did not call me Jess, but they did say 'yall' and the BB gun thing is true.

So my understanding of transgender began at a time when no one used the term, or understood the idea. Around 1967 or so, there was a Time magazine article about sex change, complete with pictures of pretty girls who had been men. I was fascinated. I remember my mother saying 'they had to go to Sweden, doctors here would not do such a thing.'  And  'Look at it's upper arm, it's too big, you can always tell' . Yes she used the pronoun 'it's'.

The knowledge that there was information tucked away in books and magazines lead me to seek them out. In the past, it was far from as convenient as it is now. Google never stares down at you when you type in a search phrase as did the librarian upon being presented a book with transgender themes.

I learned the 'woman trapped in a Man's body' phrase, and 'sexual reassignment procedure' that involved years of therapy, that you had to prove you were not just 'kidding', or could not be 'cured'. Next were hormones and to live as the opposite sex for at least a year. Followed by a complex 'surgical origami' procedure on your genitals to reverse them.

Yes, I know, please don't correct me, There is more to it than that. I said this is what I was able to gleem from the poor pittance of information available in the 1960's, 1970's, the 1980's , 1990's...  

By the 2000's there was new information beginning to come out and I heard the term transgender for the first time. This was good, but the basic info was still firmly planted in mind. 'If you wanted to express gender other than what was expected, you had to completely change everything.

Fast forward to the relative present and I had come out as a ...Crossdresser?, part time female impersonator?...what? I had really just told everyone, save a few, was that 'I liked to play girl'. I knew I wanted to express my feminine inside, but I was not up for a complete change, I am fond of my naughty bits and am attracted only to women. 

After a couple of years going out to the local LGBT scene, mostly bars, I got tired of it and just stayed home. Finally I found a piece of info that provided a new unsuspected alternative. There is something between full on Gender A and Gender B. and there were people out there that looked like Gender B while still perfectly happy to keep the naughty bits of Gender A.

So I decided to start HRT, but that meant I would have to see a doctor. Would this be the beginning of the long, arduous procedure of me convincing a string of people that I was not crazy, broken (or fixable)? 

The appointment came, the doctor is there and I blurt out  'I'm transgender!' . He pauses, looks reflective, I'm thinking 'mandatory trips to the therapist', a begrudging 'maybe in a year or two'. But he just looks up and says 'I have several transgender patients. What do you want?' and proceeds to give me a run down on what he can do, what does what, and a lecture on the evils of estrogen pills, he only approves of estrogen patches, not pills. Next two of his assistants come in with a huge stack of sample estrogen patches, different doses. They instruct me on how he wants me to ramp up and ask if I have any questions, then send me on my way with a smile on their face, relief on mine. Easier than getting a flu shot.

So what is the point of this long drawn out rambling? Part of what has always held me back, was simple bad information. I was working on impressions from long ago. In my mind this, like most everything I had ever thought about my transgender feelings, were overblown.

The big reveal , a big nothing!

So I went out to one of the old haunts this weekend. This is where I met most of my Transgender friends, and have not seen many in more than a year.

My  best friend and often sidekick had initiated the visit and accompanied me, as usual. 

I had decided to let my old friends in on the fact that I am on HRT. I had already made this information open to my family and closest friends, but this was a more public announcement.

There is one friend who was close and have not seen for quite some time that would be there. I envisioned a nice long talk, catching up and giving her all the news with me. The place had a live band playing so it was hard to hold a conversation over the music. When she arrived I followed her outside to the smokers den where it was quieter. I'm not a smoker but it was fairly empty at the time so I just took a seat across the table, attempting to stay out of the smoke. She dropped a few bombs on me about legal troubles and would not elaborate, as was her prerogative. Then she blurts out " So, are you out? Are you a fag?" . This I found both shocking and insulting. I told her "No, absolutely not!", and said "I'm transitioning, but keeping my boy parts". But about that time she was approached by someone else who began talking to her without waiting to see if she was engaged in an existing conversation, so I could not further explain. Now yet another girl pulled up to the table next to me a lit up, this was now beyond my tolerance level for smoke, so I went back inside. BTW, thank you city council for making smoking indoors illegal!. My sidekick and I left for the evening.

So there is was , my big reveal to my friends, a big nothing. One sentence, bang it's over, move along, nothing to see here! 

It's easy in hindsight to see that things like this, that are so big and important in our own minds, are really just a footnote in the life of the rest of the world. That does not change the thing for us, and we should just be happy in the knowledge of who and what we are.

One of these things is not like the other..

LGBT 

There it is, those four letters that have been in all the Media so much lately. We all know what they mean, Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual and transgender.  So which of these things is not really like the other?

Most will that tell you that Transgender is Gender orientation, NOT Sexual Orientation. 

Lesbian, Gay and Bi-Sexual are all Sexual orientation.

Who, when and why are we always grouped together? I'm not against anyone, it's just that these things are completely different and intersecting groups. A Transgender can be a Lesbian, Gay or bi-Sexual, but does not have to be. The reverse is also true, a Gay man does not have to be transgender.

So how did these labels come to be associated with each other this way?