Transitioning is tough no matter when you do it, but the longer you wait the harder it is. For trans women this is especially true, your bones grow too big, you beard too thick and many suffer balding.

 Nothing can be done about your bones, hair loss repair is a dubious industry at best, but the beard can be tackled.


 While laser can be somewhat effective given perfect circumstances, it is electrolysis that is the proven cure. A treatment that involves inserting a tiny probe into each hair down to its root and applying enough electrical current to burn the hair follicle dead. This process is repeated many thousands of times on your face alone.

 It’s a painful experience to say the least. Most treatments is done in short sessions on small areas. I chose a technique that used lidocaine to numb my face, allowing longer sessions and larger treatment areas. At the beginning I had two technicians working on me for up to 6 hours at a time. The lidocaine injection is also quite painful and does not mask the electrolysis completely. It took almost 4years of treatments to get me mostly clear. You gain a new perspective on pain tolerance.

 Yet every time I saw in my calendar that an appointment was coming, I felt happy, excited. Every treatment left me feeling better than before, in spite of the pain. 

 When my daughters were young Debbie & I discussed when to get their ears pierced. Many of the kids in their daycare sported pierced ears as babies. We thought then, and still think that you should never impose this kind of thing on your child without their consent. We decided that they would get pierced ears when they were old enough to tell us clearly that they wanted it.


 With Alexandria that time came quick. At 4 years old, she repeatedly asked to get her ears pierced. After a few months of her requests we agreed and took her to the mall, it was the 1990s and that was where you found ear piercing places, tattoo & piercing parlors were yet to be widespread.

 Up in the chair she went, big smile on her face. They used the ‘gun’ to do the piercing. ‘Clack’ went the first stud, piercing her tender little ear lobe. It puffed up big and red and a single tears strolled down her pink cheek. The tear found itself crossing the lips of that big smile, now ever bigger.

 I have often wondered how she could have been so happy when something that painful was taking place. My first electrolysis appointment imparted that understanding in a big way.