You know the Si-Fi time travel paradox? A man travels to the past and kills his own grandfather, So he is never born, So he can't go back and kill his grandfather, so he is born, etc. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Last night was my monthly get together with my GNO group (Girls Night Out). We pick a random place every month and have a fabulous time dining, drinking and talking.
This night started as usual, with me being extremely early. I asked for a table and was hit with the 'Do you have a reservation?' question. Of course not, we never do! I think the trans thing was working as they seemed nervous to turn me down and soon I was seated in this very busy and crowded restaurant. The waiter was courteous and used every female pronoun on me he could.
After a very short wait, I was joined by a few of the group. While waiting for the full group to arrive we were talking. One of my friends, a CIS girl, looking at my top says 'Bra-less, I wish I could do that'. I realized that my breasts have actually grown to noticeable size. It was a very nice feeling. I can tell, but I did not think anyone else could.
My legs have always been good, mostly due to lots of bicycling, but the rest of my figure is pretty bad. The addition of small, but noticeable breasts, along with some weight loss, have started my figure in the right direction. I can see a future where my figure is not entirely horrible.
But then I look at my hands, giant meat cleaver hands. Nothing will ever change them. It makes me wonder how I would have turned out had I started HRT in my teens. Instead of the psychiatric treatments and beatings my parents gave me. Neither of which worked, obviously.
But If I had, certainly my life would not have unfolded as it did. I would not have the love of my life (my wife), my two fantastic daughters, my son-in-law. In short my life would not be the wonderful thing that it is.
So that's the paradox.
I guess I'll just have to learn to live with my hands!