An unpopular point of view

As is often the case, something I saw today rang a chord with me, a correlation between one thing and another.

Human beings are much like flocking birds, when one turns the others follow. 

People may have opinions, and we speak these opinions loudly, and often, mostly in small settings. In large gatherings we strive to fit in. We follow the lead of the majority. We may not agree with the direction, but we follow none-the-less.

I blog often about the transgender spring that we now are experiencing, and am so excited about it. But something I saw today makes me put it into another perspective. We are here simply because the majority has moved it's direction to respect us. The majority of people are following this lead.

This seems to be a mute point, but it is not. We are here not because we as a people have come to a greater understanding, but because we are all simply following a lead. Celebrities have brought it to the attention of the media, the media has seen it as a way to make money, so it's in all the media. If it's in all the media we will all accept it as OK. 

Yes there will be those that disagree with it, but they will be a small struggling minority, barely heard. Today, as always, we can only effect change by altering the social perception. Once society believes a certain way, we will all follow. 

For me, this particular situation is great! I get to be myself without fear of repercussion.

But what was the thing that stimulated this understanding? Something wonderful or terrible?

I'm sorry to say that it was the latter. Today I visited Dachau.

Dachau....  The model for all Natzi era concentration camps. 

How can I compare these two things? I overheard a tour guide explaining that at the time these were not secret camps. Unlike the black ops camps operated by our government in their over zealous attempts to protect us from terrorists, these were public knowledge.

How could something as horrible as Dachau concentration camp be public knowledge? Why would the German public allow this to happen? They were in the pit of economic depression and this was presented as a way out financially. So when the majority went along with it, that was all it took.

How can I compare these two seemingly distinctly different situations? It boils down to human nature. The memorial to Dachau was presented as an educational experience so people would learn. But the reality is that we don't learn. We emulate what the majority of others do and let it go at that.

I'm a happy, positive person, but this experience has been a sobering one.

Ich bin ein Berliner!

Well, as most of you imagined, I had no reason at to be nervous. 

Last night was one of the most fun nights I have had. The hotel staff was absolutely wonderful, as was the taxi drivers and the club staff.

I was treated royally at the burlesque show and we ended up seated next to a group of young german girls there for a bachelorette party, abet without the bride! She apparently started a bit soon and remained at the hotel sleeping it off.

I sat next to a beautiful girl from Nuremburg, who translated almost the entire show for me. There were parts in English and I joked with her about me translating for her. Her english was better than mine. She gave us her number and told us to call her when we get to Nuremberg. Alas, she will not be there on the days we will, but I know it would have been fun.

I look forward to seeing how much fun Munich will be.

ciao 

Bold or stupid, you decide

I'm on to a new adventure tomorrow night, a burlesque show. 

Not that wild? No not normally, but I happen to be in East Berlin. Going out as Jess has me a little nervous. 

In the world of english speakers, I am fearless. I can talk my way into or out of most any situation. But here my grasp of the language is minimal. I speak very little Deutsch and understand even less when it's spoken.

If you happen to be in the neighbor tomorrow night, pop in and looks for the blonde American and say hi.  http://www.kleine-nachtrevue.de/290815-1922-burlesque-taenze-des-lasters.html

Wish me luck, ciao!

A night at the museum

Izza and I went to a museum downtown tonight, the one my daughter works for. it was 'Late night' and they were open until midnight.

We arrived early as we tend to do. My daughter was pleased to see us as she wanted to introduce us to her co-workers. she has told them all about us and they were interested in seeing us firsthand. From all appearances we did not disappoint.

Later as we were taking in the art, a woman approached and asked if she could speak with us. Saying she hoped not to offend, but wanted to know how we (Izza and I) had met? Turns out her ex-husband is transgender and was having a hard time connecting with the community. We were glad to help and had a very pleasant conversation with her.

This encounter serves to remind me that not all of us are so lucky. We both know many other trans girls, and we have found a best friend in one another. We don't have to go through the trials and tribulations of being trans alone, and that is a really big thing.

She would have never found us if we confined our activities to LGBT places. For people to se us for who we are, we have to go where they are, the places so many of don't consider 'safe'..

The more we are out the more we are seen, and the more we are seen, the more common place we become. And in our case, common place is a good thing. 

Does this silver lining have a dark cloud?

Once again my subject is the current media attention to all things transgender  . A great thing, right? I really do think so, but everything has it's consequences. 

A little about me for those who don't know me personally. I've been out for several years and am constantly refining my look. So, nothing different than anyone else. I don't pass as CIS to anyone who gives me more than a causal look, and I'm not trying to. But in the past I have been able to slip through most situations without giving anyone reason to look twice.  

Izza and I were having our regular afternoon coffee the other day when I spotted a good friend of ours in line to get coffee. He was with some work colleagues so I just gave a small wave, not wanting to tip off his co-workers that he knew us. In just a few minute he was at our table receiving hugs and happily chatting with us. After giving us well deserved grief for our lack of communication with him over the last few months, he leans down and asks me if I want to hear something funny? Of course I do and say so.

" See that guy?" He asks, pointing to one of his co-workers, " he told me 'I think that blond over there is a guy' , he(our friend) replied 'yes, she is, and she's a friend of mine!'" 

This impressed and pleased Izza and me to no end, he chose our friendship over possible scorn from a co-worker. Amazing! 

Later that week, at my family's regular Sushi place, I got some really inquisitive looks from a few people dining there. I started think about these and a few other recent situations. I was not being treated badly, but more people were starting to give me that all important telltale second look. 

I asked my wife if I was slipping in my presentation, but she said she thought I was better than ever. She's sweet. Then she suggested that it was because more people were aware of transgendered people (yes, I use the term 'transgendered'). 

The brain is a funny thing, it fills in the gap on so many things in our lives. There was a post on Facebook with a paragraph that had all the words scrambled, except for the first and last letters. I, like most, found it easy to read. My brain subconsciously arranged the letters to something it recognized. Another example is an audio clip I heard on a podcast. It was scrambled and made no sense. Then it was played correctly and I heard the words. Next it was played scrambled again, this time I heard the words exactly. My brain matched what it now knew.

I think I'm seeing this effect on the general public. When they were practically ignorant about transgender people, they saw long hair, high heels, and an ambiguous shape and face so their brain just filled in the rest with woman. 

Now their brains have been made aware of us, it tells them to look again so it can determine if we are CIS female, or trans female. 

We are publicly everywhere now, on TV, in the movies, in politics, even on the white house staff. It's great to have our day in the sun, but beware the consequences!

Interesting developments

Just a quick post. 

i have started to notice that my boy clothes don't fit me as well as my girl clothes. They don't seem to be cut right anymore. Results of HRT, I'm sure. 

it's a small thing, but then it's the small things that make the world go 'round. 

Adjectives, Verbs & Nouns, Oh My!

I've been watch the first crop of transgender themed reality shows, 'I am Cait', 'I am Jazz", 'New Girls'. 

I have had high hopes for them, and while I'm about to express some criticism, I really believe  they are doing wonderful things for the cause. But on to my issue. There is a reoccurring concept in every one of these shows. At some point, some side character will use the term 'transgendered'. The reaction is always the same, shock and horror! 

They then carefully explain that there is no such word as transgendered, and using it is an insult. I started seeing this idea pop up in transgender articles on the web around e time of Caitlin's big reveal, but I'm sure it's roots are far older. 

At first I thought, oh no! I have used that term in some of my blogs. I even started editing past posts to rewrite around the offending term. 

Then it struck me that this term did not offend me, and I'm pretty sure I qualify as trans, at least that is what my pharmacists believes. Really, don't we have enough to worry about without becoming grammar police? 

The English language is a fluid thing, constantly evolving. Using transgender as an adjective is not a crime, it's our natural tendency to simplify communication. Once we know transgender as a noun, it's much simpler to use it descriptively when referring to someone. Think about it, you can use one word and adequately provide a host of information. Other wise, referring to a group of transgender men, women, boys, or girls, can take a whole lot of words!

 When was the last time you heard an exchange like this: 

' Hey, I just googled xyz, and did you know...' 

'Wow, never say that! It's offensive! You should say 'I just used google.com to do a web search for xyz.' 

This applies to 'zeroxed' , 'Kleenex' and dozens of other words that started as nouns that are now accepted as adjectives, verbs and even adverbs! 

We want acceptance so I think it's time we gave our acceptance to language transitions.

Please feel free to call me transgendered, it makes me proud. 

Bad impressions

I just watched the latest 'I am Cait'. While I appreciate the attention Caitlyn Jenner has brought to the trans cause, I see a problem arising. 

There is a lot of emphasis on poor, unemployed and homeless transgender people. The show focuses on Cait's republican views about welfare. Much is made of her 'privlages'. 

 The problem I see is the lack of perspective. While they try to show that Cait is learning about trans people, it's really giving the general public the opinion that being trans means being a burden on society. People are going to come away from this thinking that Cait is the exception and that the majority of trans people are poor, unemployeeable wretches of society. 

This could not be further from the truth. Of course a percentage of us fit that description, but I do not believe that is any greater a percentage than the general population. 

This is a bad case of antidotal pseudo-science.