Not alone

Alone: First I was alone

When I was young I felt completely alone with my transgender feelings. No one I knew seemed to even consider that anyone could be that way. I think this issue is true for most, if not all transgender people.


Two: Then we were two

I'm unusually lucky that in college I met a woman who acknowledged that people did feel this way, and was perfectly OK with it. I married her.

She gave me two daughters, and gave them her genes. My contribution to their gene pool did not result in any transgenderism being passed along, but her acceptance and kindness did.

Four: Now we're four

I sheltered them from the T word until they were in college themselves. Their reaction has been remarkable. Most of my transgender friends would kill for the support I get from my family.  

Five: one more

Eventually every dad, transgender or not, has to see their daughters move on. My oldest married a wonderful man. She choose well and Jess gained not only a son-in-law but a new supporter.


The early days saw little time as Jess, but my wife would encourage it whenever I expressed a need. She never conveyed any distain or reluctance, it was always just a normal thing with her. 'It's who you are' she would tell me.

When the girls came into the loop, they jumped in quickly. Imparting on me all the knowledge they obtained growing up as girls. Helpful things I would have learned if I had not spent my youth as only a boy.

More important than the lessons and encouragement has been the fact that they treat Jess as a normal part of life. They attend social gatherings with my transgender friends, we dine in normal restaurants, go shopping in regular stores. This includes my son-in-law, who can compliment my outfit and then switch to tech talk with me, without missing a beat. They make me feel 'normal'.

When I blog, I blog from my soapbox, taking the role to a political level sometimes. This requires a level of confidence that is often missing from the trans world. A confidence that comes from the support, nourishment and encouragement I get every day from my family. 

So when you read my words, remember that it took a team to get them on your screen, the best damn team anyone could ask for.